He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
