Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
