This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
