you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
