I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this will be a night to untag.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
