Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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