Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER