Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?

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(573): View more from Missouri

i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

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(408): View more from California

i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky

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(647): View more from Ontario

I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.

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