Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches