Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Every concussion has its silver lining
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't put those talents on a resume
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream