Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday

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  (213): I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday http://tfl.nu/jq66
  Replies (19) Good night (4078) Bad night (870)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2852) Bad night (1036)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5652) Bad night (864)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Redeem this text for a blowjob

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  (507): Redeem this text for a blowjob http://tfl.nu/3lns
  Replies (45) Good night (18801) Bad night (1102)
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  (209): View more from California

  Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

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  (209): Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on? http://tfl.nu/ru4x
  Replies (20) Good night (3730) Bad night (1412)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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  (940): He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter. http://tfl.nu/rjmj
  Replies (10) Good night (4446) Bad night (1213)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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  (414): Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night. http://tfl.nu/g1a2
  Replies (5) Good night (1178) Bad night (1197)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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  (+44): There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside. http://tfl.nu/nyqa
  Replies (2) Good night (1874) Bad night (854)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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  (919): I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/aln7
  Replies (4) Good night (1944) Bad night (646)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants

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  (416): looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants http://tfl.nu/ig1q
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (1262)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?

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  (402): Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night? http://tfl.nu/skph
  Replies (9) Good night (2051) Bad night (454)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.

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  (660): The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working. http://tfl.nu/zgl5
  Replies (5) Good night (1205) Bad night (650)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.

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  (563): My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow. (1-563): I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zocz
  Replies (9) Good night (1749) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing

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  (651): Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing http://tfl.nu/82bp
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (286)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.

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  (214): I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory. http://tfl.nu/tp70
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (275)

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