Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..

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(610): question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused.. http://tfl.nu/1zv2

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???

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(407): I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms??? http://tfl.nu/7lb6

Replies (32) Good night (5445) Bad night (904)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.

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(843): Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table. http://tfl.nu/84sw

Replies (13) Good night (2763) Bad night (1203)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I gave up sex for lent.

(646): View more from New York

I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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(678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp

Replies (18) Good night (1257) Bad night (4570)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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(651): All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!" http://tfl.nu/l7i0

Replies (6) Good night (5943) Bad night (1378)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.

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(413): Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking. http://tfl.nu/aegx

Replies (11) Good night (1061) Bad night (2724)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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(505): Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about http://tfl.nu/ldbx

Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (719)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.

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(402): The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms. http://tfl.nu/7exr

Replies (9) Good night (1763) Bad night (614)
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(702): View more from Nevada

One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

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(702): One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell http://tfl.nu/48fd

Replies (8) Good night (915) Bad night (550)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him

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(609): His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him http://tfl.nu/rlb9

Replies (6) Good night (1554) Bad night (564)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.

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(705): I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/bmha

Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (1147)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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(908): I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there. http://tfl.nu/gv3y

Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (742)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener

(508): View more from Massachusetts

The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it

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(517): Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener (508): The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it http://tfl.nu/thh7

Replies (0) Good night (699) Bad night (348)
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(530): View more from California

He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby

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(530): He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby http://tfl.nu/gwam

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(801): View more from Utah

I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..

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(801): I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in.. http://tfl.nu/mgsn

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