those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.