I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.