just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize