if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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