all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
