end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize