Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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