phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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