How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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