It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
