Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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