forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
