That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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