you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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