I'm gonna have a badass scar
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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