do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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