somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I will pee on everything he values.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
