A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
