at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
