So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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