If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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