I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
