apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
