i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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