i already hear my dad disowning me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
