She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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