Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
