Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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