Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I deserve this hangover.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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