Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize