if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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