Yo dont text me then not text me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
