she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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