So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
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it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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