its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize