I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is my gift to your gina
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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