it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
