is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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