Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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