just come out here and I will go home with you...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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