I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it glows. i had to have it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
