When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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