idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
