We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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