There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My breasts were aching with rage.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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