True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
