he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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