I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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