Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
that is very illegal...i love you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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